Today I saw a bumper sticker that read "I hope something good happens to you today".
I've never been more offended.
Here, in the midwest, that’s the same as saying “fuck you!”.
We reject sincerity in this part of the country. We’re too humble to accept a wish of well-being. Instead we prefer to frame our goodwill inside of a negative. Everything has at least two meanings, you know? Things aren’t “going well”. They “aren’t too bad” and “we can’t complain”.
If you ever see a car with a bumper sticker that says “I hope today isn’t awful”, you’ll know where they’re from.
Unsold Bumper Stickers
“Life is mid.”
“Honk if you’re sober.”
“My other ride is a mid-size sedan.”
“Biden-Harris 2024”
“I know a dog.”
“Don’t honk, I prefer email.”