Absence makes the heart grow fonder, that’s why my boss always asks, “Where are you? Why aren’t you at work right now?”
Early to bed and early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise if your net worth is at least $15 million.
A rising tide lifts all boats, but remember your life jacket because you can’t swim that well.
Every dog has its day. Every hot dog has its bun.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. It’ll definitely take a giant dump though. Those things are constantly shitting.
Don’t put the cart before the horse, unless it has rear wheel drive.
Don’t judge a book by its cover. It had to do its makeup in the car and this wasn’t a problem when it was allowed to work from home.
If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the right room because that is where the snacks are.
Lost time is never found, but you did find a jolly rancher in your couch once.
The grass is always greener on the other side, because you’ve been throwing your dog’s poop over the neighbor’s fence.